Chasing A Dream and Hearing Voices

It's been a whole year since a new dream hit me upside the head.

One night last May, I was overcome with the need to write, which in itself isn't all that unusual for me. But the kind of writing I wanted to do surprised me. I suddenly found myself wanting to write fiction. Like, really wanting to write fiction.

I've always had a little seed of a dream of writing a book in the way back of my mind, but I always thought it would be nonfiction. For one thing, I don't consider myself a very creative person, so it never occurred to me that I could create engaging stories. But in that moment, I just knew I had to try.

Why?

1. I love fiction. I love to read and get lost in a story.

2. Stories change people. In my day job, we say we measure success by stories of transformation. I want to tell those kinds of stories.

One phrase kept running through my mind that night and has continued every day since. I want to tell a compelling Kingdom story.


So, I decided to learn how to do it. I went to the library, checked out a stack of writing craft books and started studying. Some concepts were easy for me to grasp, but for the most part I felt like I was in waaaaay over my head. And the voices of doubt began to whisper. Or shout.

Who do you think you are? 


You'll never be able to write a novel.


You're too old to start chasing this dream. You should've started 20 years ago.


There's already a writer in your family. You'll never be as good as her. (It's she! "You'll never be as good as she." See?! You're not even good at grammar!)


The voices kept talking, but I also began to hear whispers of encouragement that kept me going. I had to choose which voices to listen to and which to shut up, which, as it turns out, is a full-time job! The voices never stop.

Learning how to write fiction has unearthed a whole new set of insecurities and fears for me. I have a feeling I'll be posting about those a lot as I continue to battle them on this journey.

But I'm pressing on.

My dream is worth it because God put it in my heart. He intended for me to chase it -- why else would He put it there? When I fully believe that, chasing my dream becomes an act of worship, an offering to the Creator of the universe. And worship is never wasted.

Whether this dream turns out like I want it to or not.


Are you chasing your dream?