Friday, April 23, 2010

Kindergarten Rumble

If you've ever met Corban, my sweet 6 year-old baby girl, you will not be one bit surprised by what I am about to tell you. Corban's world is made up of absolutes. To her, things are obviously black or white, right or wrong. There is no gray area, no middle ground. She stands firmly for justice and truth...even if she's the only one who believes a particular thing to be true.

And that's why she has stories like this from AM Kindergarten...

We don't know all the details, but apparently there was some sort of misunderstanding at the Art Center today. We know it involved a clothespin with another little girl's name on it and Corban being blamed by that girl (who is actually one of Corban's best friends in her class) for the unauthorized moving of said clothespin. I don't know how much investigation was done by the girl to find out who committed such a heinous Kindergarten crime, but she decided Corban was responsible for moving her clip and was not down with that. The interaction that followed went something like this (as reported by Corban):

Girl: "Corban, you moved my clip! We are going to fight. Next Thursday. 9 o'clock in the morning. Bring Band-aids."

"Oh yeah?! Well, I know KARATE. You bring Band-aids!"

The teacher then jumped in and told the girl that she had moved the clip. So the girl shook Corban's hand and said, "Fight's off!"

And they all lived happily ever after.

When Corban told us this story at dinner tonight, I probably should've said something about how fighting doesn't solve anything. Or at the very least, pointed out that she doesn't really know karate. But I was laughing so hard I was crying. There was no chance of any kind of meaningful discussion on my part. Plus, I know her well enough to know that she knows her version of the truth and no amount of talking will change that. In her mind, she was wrongly accused and threatened by a kid with inferior fighting skills. She was just telling the truth about who was going to be needing the Band-aids next Thursday morning at 9:01. When she told her Daddy the story, she said, "You know, I've never had any classes, but I am good at Karate." Mmmm hmmm.

Don't mess with this one.

Oh, and if you're thinking of discussing this the next time you see her, I would strongly discourage it.


  1. And *that* is my niece! She is too hysterical! Not only does she know karate, but she's also a ninja. Someone might want to tell said friend about that little secret!

  2. I know! I wanted to include the story about her fake ninja moves, but didn't want the post to be 3 pages long.

  3. Even if the post was 3 pages long, it would've been worth it. She's a scream!

  4. I want to make "I know Karate. You bring Band-Aids" my facebook status. That is now what I will say anytime someone doesn't do what I want.