Mother's Day Syndrome

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This one is from the archives, but I feel this way every year on Mother's Day, so I thought it was worth reposting. Hope you all have a happy Mother's Day!

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Me and my sweet babies.

Mother's Day is just a couple of days away, which means all the school kids have been busy making treasured gifts for their moms. The gifts usually include a plant or flower of some kind, and a card full of sweet drawings and misspelled words written by precious little fingers.

Teachers these days are so crafty and creative. They want your Mother's Day gift to actually mean something to you, so they ask your kid all kinds of questions about you, then put their answers in permanent ink so you can treasure it for all eternity. A wonderful idea for most people, I'm sure. Me? Not so much.

Why? Because those thoughtful little gifts cause my Mother's Day Syndrome to kick in. MDS is a disorder that causes a mom to break out in a cold sweat and have an elevated heart rate at the very moment she begins to read her child's answers in the sweet little Mother's Day card. All she can think is, "What has this child said about me?! Has he/she exposed every one of my weaknesses as a parent?"

I had an episode today because Corban brought home her gift for me. It's a cookbook compiled by her Kindergarten class. All the kids made their own page to showcase their favorite food that mom makes, including the recipe and all the ingredients needed. There's also a cute picture of the kid in a chef's hat and apron, holding a spoon and a bowl, and there's a little cartoon bubble with a quote from the child about why mom is special. So precious.

And frightening.

As I began to read the book, all I could do was wonder what was going to be on her page. I was afraid it was going to go something like:

Corban

Chicken McNuggets

Hop in your car and drive to McDonald's. Talk into the talky thing and tell the lady you want some chicken. Please pull to the first window, then the second window and then they hand you some chicken.

My mom is special because she only yells at me sometimes, not all the time.


Lucky for me, here's what it really said:

Corban 

Chocolate Chip Cookies 

Cookie Mix 
Eggs 
Spoon 
Water 
Oil 

Put the cookie mix in and crack the eggs into it. Then you mix it all together. Put them in the oven. 

I love my mom because she plays at the playground with me.

WHEW!!

I haven't always been so lucky. Here's a sample of some of the cards I've received in the past. The bold print is the sentence the teacher gave, the italics are my beautiful offspring filling in the blanks:

All day long, my mom... takes a nap. (this one had a lovely picture of stick-figure me in bed with lots of z's above my head)  

My mom is so smart, she can even... eat a whole roll in one bite. (also with a picture of stick-figure me with crumbs all over my face)

It was so funny when... you burped a long time ago. (That never happened!)

I love my mom because... one time she played with me. (and if you keep giving me cards like this for Mother's Day, it'll never happen again)

My mom's favorite tv show is... a tornado watch. (Pick any other show and it's more my favorite than a tornado watch)

M - Much Love (Awww)

O - Open Minded (Okaaaay?)
T - The Best (Yay for me!)
H - Honest (Always)

E - Excellent (Yes!)
R - Rather Cunning (Really? You're in 2nd grade. How do you even know these words?)

Oh well. At least I have a whole stack of cards to look back on and laugh.

Happy Mother's Day!

A Life Marked By Prayer

Yesterday, my middle child turned 13. I just can't even believe it. It feels like an instant ago that the doctor was yelling, "It's a nine pounder!" and handing me a brand new, squishy baby girl.

With corkscrew curls and cheeks you could squeeze and kiss for days.

And now she's a teenager. It's unfathomable how fast the time has gone.

Jacey Reid is beautiful in every way. She's gorgeous on the outside and her heart is so sweet and pure, I get teary-eyed just thinking about it. I'm so, so proud of her. As I've reflected on the first 13 years of Jacey's life, there is one thing that stands out to me, even more beautiful than the rest.

Her life is marked by prayer.

Before I ever got pregnant with her, I prayed that God would give me a daughter. We had already been blessed with a son and my heart longed to know the joys of having one of each, so I asked God for a girl the next time around. He said YES! And there was much rejoicing in the ultrasound room.

When they calculated my due date, they told me it was February 24th, but I knew she was due on February 8th (sometimes mommies just know these things). Plus, I am a terrible pregnant person. It's nine months of misery for me and everyone else who dares to breathe my air, so the sooner we can end the madness, the better off we all are. I (and my poor husband) prayed that she would be born on or before the 8th. She arrived at 2:09pm on the 8th.

When I was in labor, she was turned the wrong way and it was going to make the delivery long and complicated. So my friend, Kelly, put her hand on my stomach and asked God to flip that baby over. Within minutes, she was good to go.

Since she was born, I have prayed that she and her brother would have an unspeakable bond of love for each other. Most days, this is still a toss up. But yesterday, he posted this to Twitter...

"Happy Birthday to my little sister Jacey. They grow up so fast. :(" 

So, that's something, right? I'm believing God will answer this, too. It just may take a little more time. :-)

When Jacey was three, she told God she wanted a little sister. I said "Sorry, sweetie. We're not having any more babies." Her baby sister was born just before Thanksgiving the following year (I partially blame my mother's prayers for this one, too).

When Jacey was five, she began to pray that God would make a way for our family to go to Disney World. Every night for over a year, her sweet little voice would float before the throne of God, laying the desires of her heart before Him. She never gave up, never even questioned if or when He would answer, even though Ron and I knew we would never in a million years have enough money to make a trip like that. But one night, my sister and brother-in-law came over and gave us a present. SURPRISE! We're sending you to Disney World! It was so ridiculously generous and extravagant. We spent a whole week there and Jacey got to meet every princess in the land. It will forever go down in our family history as the best gift we've ever received and our favorite vacation.

A couple of years ago, the kids were finagling for a dog. They weren't getting anywhere with me and Ron because we didn't want to have one more thing to feed every day, so Jacey went over our heads and asked God to give us a dog...today. Within an hour, there was a cute little yorkie on our front porch and of course, it had no collar or microchip and we couldn't find the owner (believe me, I looked) so she became our beloved Jovi. After we had her for a year, we found out she used to belong to one of our neighbors, but they wanted us to keep her. They said they had been praying about what to do with her because they didn't have enough time to spend with her and felt like it was a God thing that our family found her and loved her so much. Poor guy didn't realize that he never had a chance of keeping his dog even if he wanted to. Jacey the pray-er was on the loose!

You only have to spend a little bit of time with Jacey to know that she has a special gifting when it comes to prayer. Our friends and family know that if they really need God to move on their behalf, Jacey's their girl. She's an intercessor. She's prayed people into jobs, orphans into families, the needy into provision. The list goes on and on.

It's such an honor to parent this precious girl. I can't wait to see what crazy thing God does next in her and through her, for His glory.

"... for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” Matthew 19:14

Who Are You Trying To Impress?

The last week at our house has been focused on celebrating our baby girl's 8th birthday. After the party, special snacks at school, and her restaurant-of-choice for dinner (including dessert!), I think I have been absolved for the birthday injustice I heaped upon her last year.

Last year on Corban's birthday, we were out of town at her sister's cheer competition. We tried to make it special, but it's kinda hard to make sitting in an arena for 8 hours seem like something fantastic. After that, I kept promising we would have a party for her. And we did...

in April. (if you're keeping count, that's five whole months after her birthday)

Last year, I was stressed.

Last year, we were too busy.

Last year, the thought of having to do one more thing, much less plan and execute one more thing, made me want to eat cookies and sleep for days on end.

But this year, as I thought about celebrating Corban's birthday, I felt God whisper a significant question to me.

Who are you trying to impress?

Who are you trying to impress with the fancy themed birthday party? With the over-the-top goodie bags? With the super crafty decorations? Who are you trying to impress by implementing all the amazing party ideas you find on Pinterest? (and they are really amazing) With the adorable bakery-bought cake?

I avoided the question for a while, but after some deep digging, I finally came to terms with the fact that all this time I've been trying to impress myself. I've wanted my kids' birthday parties to reflect how wonderful and crafty and creative I am as a mom. I've wanted all the guests to be jealous. I've wanted all the moms to "ooh" and "aah" over the cuteness of the party they have just beheld. I've wanted my kids to think I'm the greatest mom in the whole world. Because of a birthday party? Really?!

It sounds ridiculous when you put it like that. So now, I'm doing things differently.

As I planned this year's party, I kept that question in mind. Once I got over myself, I realized the only one I should be trying to impress is Corban. It's her birthday and what she thinks about it is all that matters. I want her to feel loved and celebrated. I want her to enjoy the day.

So she got to make every decision about her party. She picked the place, the invitations, designed and helped decorate the cake, and even placed the candles wherever she wanted them. It turned out to be zero-stress for me, and she loved every minute of it.

My sweet birthday girl.

As it turns out, she's much easier to impress than I am. And I'm so glad.


What about you? Do you stress over making parties perfect?


P.S. I have a sneaking suspicion that I've been treating Christmas at our house the same way I've treated birthday parties, so this question will be staying with me through the holiday season.

My Very Princess-y Mother's Day

Another Mother's Day has come and gone, and I'm happy to report that I survived with my dignity and self-esteem intact...mostly. (Check out last year's Mother's Day post for more info on that).  I did receive the ever unpredictable Mother's Day card/poem from school, but it painted me in a fairly positive light this year (if fairly positive light = not a total flake). So that was good.

I also got a very special gift.

About a week ago, my 7 year-old started talking about the gift she was making for me at school, ramping up the excitement and anticipation (aka anxiety) each day.  Her comments started on Monday with a little grin and twinkling eyes saying, "I can't wait to give you your Mother's Day present." And by Friday, we had progressed to squeals and clapping and jumping from the furniture with declarations of, "You are going to LOVE your Mother's Day present! It's going to make you feel just like a princess!"

Oh. snap.

Cue heart palpitations and scaly fingers of dread constricting my throat. (Dramatic much?)

What in the world could she have made at school that would make me feel just like a princess? I had no idea.  I mentioned it on Facebook and Twitter and the general consensus among my friends was that...

1.) I should, in fact, be very nervous about this gift.

2.) There was a strong likelihood that at some point on Mother's Day, I would end up in an adult-sized tutu. A tiara was not completely out of the question, either.

The one ray of hope I clung to was that surely an adult-sized tutu couldn't fit in her little backpack. Right? It couldn't, could it?! Please, God, don't let it fit in her backpack.

Looking back, there were a couple of hints that should have clued me in on this princess-inducing gift, but my muddled mommy brain didn't put it all together until afterwards.  One was when she said, "Mom, have you ever had tea in a pouch?" 

"Uh, not that I recall.  Is that like a CapriSun or something?"

"Yeah, I guess. But I think you mix it with water first."

Hmmm. Tea in a pouch? That sounds as though it would make me feel like the exact opposite of a princess, but okay.

Well, Sunday finally arrived and I woke up to Corban's sweet, freckled face beaming with pride as she delivered this to my bedside table...

Breakfast in a Bag! And tea in a pouch! Turns out, I've completely failed Parenting 101 since my kid has never heard of a tea bag. My English friends are going to be so ashamed of me.

I have never felt closer to being royalty in all my life. I've also never been more relieved to receive a brown paper bag as a gift.

I love that little girl. She's just one of my three amazing reasons to celebrate being a mom.

If you're a mom, I hope you had a beautiful Mother's Day and were treated like a princess, too.


What's your favorite (or most shameful) Mother's Day gift story? 

One Word 2011

I can't believe 2010 is gone! I'm sure I feel this way at the beginning of every year, but last year seemed to blow by in a turbo-speed blur more than any other. Is this because I'm getting older? I'm going with NO on that, but it probably does have something to do with the fact that my babies are growing into full-sized humans right before my eyes, which is bittersweet.

I've never been good at keeping New Year's resolutions, so I stopped making them a few years ago. But I do like to look back and reflect on things -- the highs and lows, the moments where God showed up in a big way, the things I accomplished, and the things I'd like to improve -- then allow my heart to hope and dream for even bigger things in the year ahead.

So when I came across OneWord2011 on Kevin's blog, I decided it was exactly what I wanted to do. The idea is to choose one word that will shape you for the year. One word that can serve as a filter in every area of your life instead of making a list of resolutions that will be abandoned by this time next week, leaving us to feel like failures (again!). And I already had a word that had been resonating in my heart, so this felt like the perfect thing.

My one word is actually borrowed from my 7 year-old's latest Sunday school lesson, but I think that just makes it even better because she and I will be growing in it together .

My one word is determination.

According to Corban's take-home papers, the definition of determination is "deciding it's worth it to finish what you've started." 

That's what I want to be in 2011. A finisher. Not a sloppy finisher, but one who finishes well.

This word applies to so many areas of my life...

I'm determined to be more generous. I want to give like crazy this year and stop trying to hold too tightly to things that really don't matter.

I'm determined to speak from my heart. As an introvert, it's easy to think wonderful things about the people in my life (I do it all the time), but it's not quite as easy to say that stuff out loud to the people who need to hear it.  This year, I want to speak more words of encouragement and affection, especially to my sweet husband and kids.

I'm determined to be a better mother.  I did ok as a mom in 2010, but there is one glaring error that took me smack out of the running for Mom of the Year. I did not throw a party for Corban's 7th birthday. I have all kinds of excuses for why I didn't, but none of those matter to her. All she knows is that it's January and her birthday was in November, for crying out loud! BUT it's a new year and I'm determined to throw that girl a party. And that might actually put me on the short list for MOTY 2011 because she'll be the only kid who will have TWO birthday parties in one year.


I'm determined to whip our budget into shape.  We've been taking baby steps to financial peace for years (yes, I heart Dave Ramsey), but I'm determined to make a budget that really works for us and pay off the rest of our debt.

I'm determined to grow my business. I want to coach more women and clean fewer homes. There's a whole lot of stuff that has to happen for me to be able to do that, but I'm learning as I go and have great support and mentoring from Lance and the rest of the Bloom team.

I'm determined to chase a new dream. A new dream took hold of me in 2010, so I'm determined to take some practical steps to see it come to life. Sorry for being vague about this one, but I'm not ready to be accountable for it to all of cyberland just yet.  New dreams can be very fragile, you know. :)


Those are just a few of the things I'm determined to do this year. And I'm confident God will give me His grace to do them because...

"God is the one who began this good work in you, and I am certain that he won't stop before it is complete..."  Philippians 1:6

What hopes and dreams are in your heart for 2011? Do you have one word? 

Lasts

As parents, we mark so many firsts in our kids' lives. Their first smile, first word, first steps, first haircut, first loose tooth, first day of school. The list is endless, as is the joy we feel as we celebrate those milestones (unless it's the first time they flood the bathroom or their first trip to the ER). I really don't think we'll ever get to the end of the firsts with our kids, which is a really wonderful thing about being a parent.

But this month, it has hit me with gut-wrenching force that I'm in the big, fat middle of a season of lasts. All 3 of my babies are about to cross over into completely new phases of life...one headed to high school, one to middle school, and my little one to first grade. So that means May 2010 holds the last fleeting moments of these precious things:

Pulling up to Summit Middle School every afternoon to
find Gage and his funny friends...

and sweet girlfriend.

Watching every morning as Jacey walks Corban into school at Angie Debo.

(This was the one & only year that these 2 will attend the same school).

Waiting every afternoon in the cul-de-sac behind the school
for Jacey to walk up with her sweet friends.

Jacey's elementary school career. No more homeroom parties...

Or class music programs.

Kindergarten. My last baby has finished Kindergarten.

There will never be another Beach Day...

Transportation Day...

or Kindergarten Program.

(She wants to be a Zookeeper when she grows up, btw).

There will also be no more of that half-day nonsense....not at all sad about that! :)

It's a bittersweet season. It's so fun to watch my kids grow into who they're supposed to be. But it also makes my heart hurt just a bit.


Soon, we'll begin of a whole new season of firsts to celebrate.



But for now I'm going to savor the lasts.

Refreshing

I usually love Sundays, and yesterday was an exceptionally good one. We started the day at Urban Celebration and got to worship with friends we haven't seen in a while. It was cozy & refreshing, inspiring & challenging. The message was all about unity, especially breaking down racial walls. I'm still processing all the stuff that goes along with that and wondering how my life would look if all the walls were broken down. I'm sure you'll be hearing more about that later.

The most wonderful thing about yesterday was that it was Ron's first Sunday off work since last September. He works at Cross & Crown Mission and they have youth activities, a community dinner and a worship service every Sunday evening throughout the school year (they also do a LOT of other stuff all week long. You can check it out here). But every summer, beginning in May, they take a much needed break from Sunday stuff.

Sidenote: I don't think people realize how much work it takes for the people who administrate and run church services every week. If it seems effortless and easy, it's because a small number of people have worked extra hard at it. So, next time you see someone who's involved in running the big show at your church, tell them thank you. Anyway...

Yesterday was our first Sunday to have the daddy home ALL DAY! It was glorious! We spent the whole day at the OKC Zoo, which has been vastly improved since the last time I was there. I always thought the zoo was great, but they've added so many cool exhibits and are continuing to build new and better things. My favorite part was the Oklahoma Trails, which is a huge exhibit showcasing all the plants and animals found in Oklahoma. We saw a grizzly bear swimming beneath a beautiful waterfall, bats, raccoons, bison, alligators and a whole lot more. It made me appreciate how diverse and rich our state is. And it only slightly unnerved the girls that all those wild beasts live right here in OK.

It really was a perfect zoo day. The temperature was perfect and all the animals were out, but I think the thing that made it the most perfect was the freedom we felt. Freedom because we've officially crossed out of the baby/toddler stage of parenthood and fully into big kid mode. We've actually been in this mode for a while, but I got a fresh appreciation for it being in a place with so many little ones. When you're in big kid mode, you don't have to pack up everything you own to go out for the day. I went into the zoo armed with nothing but chapstick and 2 band-aids in my pocket (we almost always need band-aids). No stroller, no baby wipes, no sippy cups. And NO crying children! We passed stroller after stroller of crying children, and just laughed because it's really funny when it's not your own kid! It felt so liberating to walk around with happy, independent kids and it made us so thankful to be past that stage of parenthood (if you're in that stage, just enjoy and laugh your way through it. It feels long while you're in it, but it really does end before you know it).

2 of our big kids on the zoo tram

In our big kid mode, we only had one little glitch. While we were looking at the anteater (a really weird looking creature), Jacey realized her leg was bleeding. She cut it on something, but didn't notice until there was a lot of blood running down her leg. Nice. But who saved the day? That's right, MacGuyver Mom stopped the bleeding with the zoo receipt and whipped out a band-aid. Ta Da! Episode over. Gotta love big kid mode!

It was a really refreshing Sunday. I can feel summer coming and it's going to be full of those. Ahhhh.

Kindergarten Rumble

If you've ever met Corban, my sweet 6 year-old baby girl, you will not be one bit surprised by what I am about to tell you. Corban's world is made up of absolutes. To her, things are obviously black or white, right or wrong. There is no gray area, no middle ground. She stands firmly for justice and truth...even if she's the only one who believes a particular thing to be true.

And that's why she has stories like this from AM Kindergarten...

We don't know all the details, but apparently there was some sort of misunderstanding at the Art Center today. We know it involved a clothespin with another little girl's name on it and Corban being blamed by that girl (who is actually one of Corban's best friends in her class) for the unauthorized moving of said clothespin. I don't know how much investigation was done by the girl to find out who committed such a heinous Kindergarten crime, but she decided Corban was responsible for moving her clip and was not down with that. The interaction that followed went something like this (as reported by Corban):

Girl: "Corban, you moved my clip! We are going to fight. Next Thursday. 9 o'clock in the morning. Bring Band-aids."

Corban: "Oh yeah?! Well, I know KARATE. You bring Band-aids!"

The teacher then jumped in and told the girl that she had moved the clip. So the girl shook Corban's hand and said, "Fight's off!"

And they all lived happily ever after.


When Corban told us this story at dinner tonight, I probably should've said something about how fighting doesn't solve anything. Or at the very least, pointed out that she doesn't really know karate. But I was laughing so hard I was crying. There was no chance of any kind of meaningful discussion on my part. Plus, I know her well enough to know that she knows her version of the truth and no amount of talking will change that. In her mind, she was wrongly accused and threatened by a kid with inferior fighting skills. She was just telling the truth about who was going to be needing the Band-aids next Thursday morning at 9:01. When she told her Daddy the story, she said, "You know, I've never had any classes, but I am good at Karate." Mmmm hmmm.

Don't mess with this one.



Oh, and if you're thinking of discussing this the next time you see her, I would strongly discourage it.